Neshumaeng's Weblog

Signorina in Sheffield #4 – Of bureaucracy and other tragedies

neshumaeng — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 15:21:57 +0000

I don’t know if in the UK is common, but one of the most popular Italian travelling games is “the market game”.

One person says that he went to the market and bought something. The second person buys the same thing and something more.

The third person lists the first two items and adds one and so on…

Then you grow up and you apply it to real life.

I woke up this morning after a four-hour sleep and I am running a temperature of 39.

I am running a temperature of 39 and I am leaving in two days for New York City.

I am running a temperature of 39, I am leaving in two days for New York City and my passport needs an extra stamp in order to leave.

I am running a temperature of 39, I am leaving in two days for New York City, my passport needs an extra stamp in order to leave and therefore I have to go all the way to Manchester to get it.

I thought I had it all: I had booked my flight; made sure the luggage was ok; filled the Esta Visa Waiver form on line; got rid of super dangerous material such as contact lens liquid and toothpaste; officially signed that I was never a Communist in my life (they still ask – I guess they want to hold on to all those sci-fi movies from the ‘50s) and gave them every single address I will be staying at during my trip.

I was ready to go. Then I remembered that in Italy we have an extra tax for the passport, something we have to pay every year in order to make it valid.

We have a super-valid passport this way, in your face, Britons! And of course, I had not paid it over the last year….

Continua su: http://www.forgetoday.com/page1209/Of-Bureaucracy-And-Other-Tragedies

Music Blog #5: The Mariners’ children

neshumaeng — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 15:20:14 +0000

Yesterday I fell in love. They were 4 guys and 5 girls that went by the name of The Mariners’ Children.

They were opening for Peggy Sue at Bungalows and Bears during “an evening of music, art and poetry presented by Unquiet Desperation”, or at least that’s what the flyer said. In practise, it was an unique occasion to listen to at least three very good bands in a row, drink a lot of Bushmill and be surrounded by painters brushing all over giant white canvases.

When I arrived, Tim & Sam’s Tim & The Sam Band were playing. Aside from the brilliant mixture of indie guitar and electronic, kraftwerkian sounds, the name is probably one of the best I’ve ever heard of for a band. Of course they will have to change it if they want to become famous, because no journalist will ever want to write about something he can’t remember and fans will never want to go and see a concert with people whose name they cannot pronounce, but the fact remains that it’s absolutely brilliant….

Continues on: http://www.forgetoday.com/page1212/Notes-Exploring-Sheffield-Marta-Visits-Bungalows-And-Bears

Signorina in Sheffield #3 – Of political correctness

neshumaeng — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 18:32:07 +0000

hate political correctness. I hate it.Whenever I hear someone using expressions like “the N word” or “African American” I would like to punch him or her (see how ridiculous this is?) in the stomach.

Usually, they are the same people who join a white men society and try to hide it by showing they don’t say “nigger”.

Political correct, of course, has much to do with the language and the culture of a specific country.

I have not been in England long enough to know many politically correct expressions, but I hate them already.

Salesperson. Firefighter. Oh come on. Fireman is easier to spell, faster to pronounce and who cares if that fireman is a woman, are you seriously thinking that women care about this placebo for the years of exclusions from these kinds of jobs? No, they don’t.

And if they do they are stupid.

Trust me, I’m a woman. You know what is offensive? The fact the Glamour, Cosmo, Elle and rubbish like that is referred to as “women’s magazines”.

The problem is that it’s true, women do buy these things. Too bad. Women are stupid. Or better: women contain in their bodies large amounts of stupidity. If it wasn’t so, they wouldn’t spend so much time chasing inferior creatures like men.

Was any man offended by this remark? Too bad. Men are stupid.

Of course by making fun of political correctness regarding the words that were shaped to protect my category I am playing it safe.

Let’s talk about disabilities then. I have none, except complete inability to do any math.

For example: “Visually challenged”. Seriously? If I were blind and someone called me “visually challenged” I would break his nose as soon as I could locate who said it. Visually challenged? Try to breathe through your broken bones and see how it feels to be breath challenged.

I hope I made my point, and I hope at least 100% of smart people throughout the world would agree with me.

But although political correctness is the one of the stupidest human inventions of all times, I must admit that sometimes, at least in politics, you might need it.

keep reading on:

http://www.forgetoday.com/page1196/What-Is-The-Point-Of-Political-Correctness

Space Chili – creative blog

neshumaeng — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 21:53:11 +0000

Pop culture and much more: http://spacechili.deviantart.com/gallery/

Music Blog #4: The Scrabble

neshumaeng — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 18:29:38 +0000

So now I don’t have a gig to talk about, for I spent the whole time moving from one shop to another to then drink at least four cocktails in a row in a bar called Smokestock.

(Ok, I know I shouldn’t use this space for advertisement and even less to advertise places in Leeds, but they were amazing. Best cocktails ever, and I have a long experience with cocktails, trust me).

Anyway, back to music and to Sheffield. I came back to find a package from Italy with some survival kit stuff and a cd. That cd, an EP called Most Unlikely Often Happens, is very, very good.

The band’s name is Scrabble and they are from Turin, my city. Although I had never listened to their music, I was familiar with the name of the band because they are friends of friends of friends and because the singer, Lorenzo De Masi, was my schoolmate in elementary and middle school. Now he calls himself Larry. Just as Carlo, Pietro and Carlo again, the other band members, are now known as Charlie, James and Lax. You just can’t help it: English is cooler when it comes to music.

Also, from the day I started to write about English music here in Sheffield, I hadn’t heard a sound so English as Scrabble….

Continua su:

http://www.forgetoday.com/page1173/Notes-Exploring-Sheffield-Marta-On-Italys-Newest-Musical-Export

Music Blog #3

neshumaeng — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 12:53:31 +0000

I bought the tickets for Arctic Monkeys’ concert in Sheffield three days after I arrived in the city.

It was September the 22nd, one month and three weeks before the actual gig, and I was with an Italian friend of mine in a Spanish restaurant in Meadowhall. We were both newly settled and felt we should have done something more properly local than eating ethnic stuff in a mall; so we decided to blow our budget and buy the tickets, even though the gig was sold out already and it would have cost a lot. But after all: Arctic Monkeys from Sheffield in Sheffield, how cool was that? Coming from Italy, we both had never even heard of the city before they came on the scene. Excitement mounted up day after day: my friend was a long-term fan, I used to think they were incredibly overrated but I had really loved the new album.

By the day of the concert, tension had reached its climax. It was all about looking as much of a Sheffielder as possible for the event and trying to get to the Arena on time for being in the first row. After the disillusionment of finding out that in Sheffield too there are Starbucks, H&M and all those hideous chains that simply replicate themselves over and over making any city identical to any other on a random parallel, Arctic Monkeys playing in Sheffield looked as unique as the Parthenon.

Now, before talking about the concert, I do feel the responsibility of making a preface: on that very same day some scum stole my laptop by breaking the window of my room and helping himself while I was in the kitchen preparing lunch. They immediately arrested him but not before he could get rid of my adored pc; police told me they might call again at night in case they had news, so I spent the entire concert holding the camera in one hand and my mobile in the other, begging for a phone call.

Arctic Monkeys really helped, too. As I said before, I am a converted fan, and that made me the most enthusiastic supporter of the kids. But the concert was just….

Continua su: http://www.forgetoday.com/page1142/Notes-Exploring-Sheffield-Marta-Sees-Arctic-Monkeys-Sheffield-Arena

Music Blog #2

neshumaeng — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 12:50:44 +0000

A very rhetorical question: when you go to a club for a gig, is the sound system or the whiskey selection more important?

Obviously, the whiskey selection is far more relevant. But if you run a club and decide to bet everything on that, you should also make sure you hire a band so good that the beauty of their music will overcome the whistling and the distortion of the terrible speakers. From what I’ve seen so far, The Harley really manages to do that.

As many will probably know, above the Harley Bar there is the Harley Hotel. What is less proverbial is that when you rent a room there, included in the price they give you earplugs. A friend of mine slept there for a week and told me that this is absolutely unnecessary: it is not the music that keeps you awake, although without the earplugs you couldn’t even hear your inner thoughts; it’s the vibrations produced by the sound that makes it impossible to sleep. Apparently, he would wake up every morning with severe land sickness.

So no offence, but the acoustic is really not The Harley’s thing. Of course, the alcohol is amazing and the Lagavulin whiskey particularly fantastic, so who cares. But they must take extra care in who they invite to play, and indeed they seem to always organize little great gigs. Last time I was there I was really conquered by Dirty Weekend. They are a classic, electronic-with-soul indie band from Teesside, which…

Continua su: http://www.forgetoday.com/page1097/Notes-Exploring-Sheffield-Marta-Visits-The-Harley

Signorina in Sheffield #2 – Of crime and punishment

neshumaeng — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 12:47:19 +0000

And so it happened. Coming from a country in which a quarter of the territory is ruled directly by members of organized crime, I thought the UK would be the land of safety, unless you were in a Saturday night pub crawl. Not quite so, but at least I now have the cultural experience of dealing with English Police.

Last Friday morning I was working hard on my laptop (read: removing my tag from pictures in which I looked fat) when I decided to take a break and go to microwave myself some soup (Italians can be junkie-food addicted, too).

I live in a ground floor room and my table overlooks the beauty of Broomhall’s barracks; but it is a good view if you want to alienate yourself and just work.

Anyway, I was eating my soup when I heard a terrible sound of broken glasses.

I gave for granted it was the garbage collector and I kept eating, at peace with the world….until my Iraqi housemate called me from outside the house.

I went off the street and here it was, the closest thing to a Greek Tragedy I’ve ever seen…

Continua su:

http://www.forgetoday.com/page1133/Of-Crime-And-Punishment

Signorina in Sheffield #1 – Of naked women and the principles of Constitution

neshumaeng — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 12:40:57 +0000

So here I am, an Italian gal in the land of Shakespeare. My name is Marta, I’m from Turin (North West. Yes guys, Juventus) and I am a post grad student at Sheffield University.

I arrived in England mid-September. Very surprisingly and very out of stereotypes, the thing that shocked me the most so far has definitely been the cold.

I should articulate this better: I actually come from a pretty cold place for Italian standards, so it’s not tragic. But every time I put my nose out of the door, I still have to pass through a clothing ceremony: wool socks, wool tights (above the wool socks), thick jeans, undershirt, shirt, sweater, jacket, grandma’s hand made scarf, gloves. Basically, my idea of bringing Italian fashion to the North is Bib the Michelin Man (which is French, by the way).

What really strikes me is not the temperature anyway. It’s when I go out at night, dragging my body under layers and layers of heavy material, and I get passed by a herd of girls in high heels (high heels while drunk should be awarded. Seriously. It must be as requiring as an Olympic discipline in terms of coaching).

They wear nothing but dresses as tiny as coasters and I have actually to stop and stare at them in my most astonished look. How do they do that? I ask myself while trying to adjust the scarf so that it covers my nose better. If I went out dressed like that, I’d die of pneumonia in less than a month.

Now, to tell the truth, I must confess that every single Italian I ever met, from whatever gender, experience or background has noticed this English habit and made some funny jokes about it….

Continua su: http://www.forgetoday.com/page1071/Of-Naked-Women-And-The-Principles-Of-Constitution

Music Blog #1

neshumaeng — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 12:35:57 +0000

Stockroom is a lovely club. I know that “lovely” is an adjective that fits better a tea-room but still, Stockroom is lovely. And cosy. The black floor, the worn out carpets and the random displacement of furniture make it the perfect punk venue.

It’s a tiny little hole in the middle of traffic where you can have some genuine punk time. There is even toilet paper in the loo. It is a real sign of civilization, when in the dirtiest club in town there is toilet paper.

I went to the club for the very first time a couple of weeks ago, to enjoy a gig on the corner stage where a few punk bands kept banging on the drums and screaming their guts out at the mic. Cars were passing fast outside the window, giving the impression that they would crash the corner and actually enter the building (an event which might easily turn into tragedy, but also such a Dadaist expression that no real punk could 100% wish it didn’t happen for real….).

During a pause, this guy comes up to me with a very big yellow box. “Hi, I’m from Mutiny Plot – he says without preamble – We are trying to raise money for a proper demo, would you like to buy our album?”

Continua su: http://www.forgetoday.com/page1045/Notes-Exploring-Sheffield-Marta-Visits-The-Stockroom